How MDMA and Psilocybin Helped an Attorney Overcome Suicidal Thoughts and Find Freedom
Artem SmirnovChris Sproul, an environmental attorney who represents nonprofit environmental groups and Native American tribes, shares his journey with mental health challenges and psychedelic therapy. For most of his life, he suffered from depression, anxiety, PTSD, and insomnia, trying various conventional therapies and psychiatric medications (SSRIs, lithium, benzodiazepines) with limited success.
His healing journey began with ketamine therapy, undergoing five intravenous administrations in a psychiatrist’s office. While he found the hallucinogenic experience surprisingly comforting and beautiful rather than frightening, it provided only short-term relief from his depression.
Watch: How Psychedelics Helped me ESCAPE the PSYCHIATRIC TRAP
“I was suicidal at one point, and I mean that’s the farthest, it seems like that was a different person. I mean I feel most of the time now happy, joyous and free.”
-Chris
Read: From Suicidal to ‘Happy, Joyous and Free’: How Psychedelic Therapy Transformed an Attorney’s Life
The breakthrough came when a trusted therapist friend guided him through an all-day session combining MDMA and psilocybin. During this experience, he felt safe and had a profound encounter with what he describes as his “totem animal,” a purple and green glowing octopus. This led to further journeys with various psychedelics.
“I now tell anyone who’ll listen, I feel 90 percent cured of depression, 70 percent cured of anxiety, 55 percent cured of PTSD. And I don’t have insomnia anymore. I sleep like a baby.”
The results have been transformative. Chris reports feeling “90 percent cured of depression, 70 percent cured of anxiety, 55 percent cured of PTSD,” and no longer suffers from insomnia. He has discontinued all conventional psychiatric medications and even stopped microdosing psilocybin. What began as a desperate search for mental health relief has evolved into a spiritual quest.
Chris emphasizes that his healing came not just from the substances themselves but from the therapeutic context—the set, setting, and human connection involved in the process. He describes his current state as not just the absence of pain but “the presence of joy and possibility,” a dramatic contrast to his previous suicidal thoughts and constant struggle.
Q&A With Chris
What traditional treatments did you try before turning to psychedelic therapy, and how effective were they?
Chris: I’d suffered for a lifetime of depression, anxiety, PTSD, and tried various forms of therapy and traditional psychiatric medicines, various SSRIs, lithium, terrible insomnia. I took a lot of benzodiazepines to sleep and cope with anxiety. Some of these things helped, but they were never really that effective.
How would you describe the difference in your mental health before and after psychedelic therapy?
Before I was so much of the time just white knuckling it. I mean, I felt so anxious, just so clinging. And then I would vacillate to feeling just crushing depression. And then just really anxious, a different form of anxiety that I would identify as PTSD. Just very easily startled and so on. That would manifest in not being able to sleep. And now I feel 90 percent cured of depression, 70 percent cured of anxiety, 55 percent cured of PTSD. And I don’t have insomnia anymore. I sleep like a baby. It’s not just the absence of pain, it’s the presence of joy and possibility
What aspects of psychedelic therapy were most important for your healing process?
A key component for me is not been just the medicine. It’s really the therapeutic element, the set and setting, and how much it has allowed me to trust and open up and feel connected to others. And then the healing power of that loving connection to other humans has been so much part of it.
About Normalize Psychedelics
Normalize Psychedelics is a nonprofit 501(c)(3) working to transform public perception of psychedelic medicine through real stories of healing. Our mission is to collect 1,000 powerful testimonials from individuals whose lives have been transformed by psychedelic experiences. By sharing these authentic voices, we aim to reduce stigma, advance the conversation around mental health, and expand our understanding of wellness.
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